dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
