Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
