We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
