didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
