i just google imaged poop.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize