Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize