You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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