I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize