I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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