I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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