Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
