I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
