We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
