If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
