Kiss
Puke
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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