i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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