i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
