That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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