I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
