you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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