My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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