I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
