It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
