I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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