I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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