i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
