So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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