Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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