woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My dick has a subreddit
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
