i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
