did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
