dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We are two peas in an std pod
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
