the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
