the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
