HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
