we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
