There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I'm passing your future prison.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
