The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
