First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
