Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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