Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
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