You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
