My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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