Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
