i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
