@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
