Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
