last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
