they said they heard you say put it in my butt
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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