Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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