this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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