i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he thought i was a dude.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
