Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
