i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
