there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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