I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
