What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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