I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I would ride that face into the sunset
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
