even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
