my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
