Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
