My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
He felt like a one man threesome
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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