Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize